I haven’t written a article for a little while, mainly because I haven’t had anything particularly interesting to say.
“If you haven’t got anything interesting to say, then don’t say anything at all” is what my mother used to tell me (actually, it was more along the lines of ”If you haven’t got anything to say that doesn’t start with b and sounds like snitch, then don’t say anything at all!”)
She still says that, usually when I am reading about what the vapid, brainless waste-of-space that is a Hilton sister â?? take your pick â?? is doing.
I do agree, when there is simply nothing useful to be uttered, silence really is golden.
Which brings me to the issue of “Used Car Dealers” (what, I hear you say, have second-hand car dealers got to to do with anything? Bear with me…there is a point somewhere here…)
                                          
I haven’t got a lot of time for these people. They are up there in the top ten of “People Who Ignore The Golden Silence Rule”. They will pretty much feed you any sort of fabrication in order to get you driving away in one of their vehicles.
The fellow that I bought my wheels from spent 10 minutes explaining the features and benefits of the car and the next 2 hours rambling on about his travels to Uzbekistan and his wife’s unfortunate case of gastroenteritis. I ended up just throwing my credit cards at him, grabbing the keys and screaming out of the lot, in order to avoid hearing what the test results of her lilac-coloured urine were.
You have to give it to him though. I spent $10,000 on a car sold to me by a man who was obviously, as we say in these here parts, full of it.
I returned home today, after a delightful little sojourn on the Northern New South Wales Coast, only to pick up the paper and discover that Norma Khouri has joined the esteemed ranks of those in the ”Used Car Salesman” world, and is now selling second-hand Mustangs in Naperville, Illinois.
For those of you who have not heard, Norma Khouri is a literary genius.
She penned a heartbreaking biographical story titled “Forbidden Love” about her turbulent life in Jordan. Specifically, she wrote about the horrific murder of her childhood friend Dalia, whom was executed as part of the “Honour killings”culture which makes it perfectly legal for family members to “off” their offspring in cases of adultery.
All very unsettling to be sure, and Khouri painted quite a vivid picture. I certainly couldn’t put the book down.
Devastating, tragic, calamitous…and….a load of cobblers!!
Turns out that Ms Khouri left Jordan when she was three and was happily living in the US, in Chicago when she painted this little piece of fiction, 30 years later (oh, she was also trying to avoid the authorities over a little incident involving fraudulent cheques, but that really is neither here nor there, don’t you think?). She ended up peddling her “true story” here in Australia, selling the odd 200,000 copies.
When questioned about her runaway success a couple of years ago, she tearfully murmured that the proceeds meant nothing compared to the plight of her friend Dalia and the rest of the women who are victims of Honour killings. She dabbed her eyes dutifully in front of the camera before grabbing her money bags and heading home to her beautiful abode on Bribie Island here in Queensland.
Now that the truth is out about Ms Norma Khouri (actually her real name is Norma Toliopoulus, but that didn’t sound quite tragic-middle-eastern-slave-woman enough) she has left Australia and is back in her adopted American state of Illinois selling used cars.
In all probability, she will be telling her clients mournfully about the tragedy of her imaginary-friend Dalia and why they should purchase the new Dodge Neon…in order to aid the downtrodden women of her homeland.
I think this new turn in her career is most apt, given her obvious talent to tell great big whoppers.
Unfortunately, this sort of thing is not new.
We had Helen Demidenko (aka Helen Darville, aka Big Fat Fibber) mincing around in front of the cameras dressed like a fancy gay-man’s Ukrainian Maypole, telling anyone who would care to listen about her harsh, Eastern-European heritage,when she was really just a little Brizvegas birdy looking for some angle to sell her so-called true story.
                                      
Most recently, James Frey, author of “A Million Little Pieces”, came out and admitted that his best-selling biography of drug addiction was also something of a “Fantasy Island” episode.
This ticked a few people off, including Oprah Winfrey (whom I believe was ready to break James Frey himself, into a million little pieces, given the fact that she had the book on her prestigious “Reading Recommendation List” as well as actively promoting him on her show).
Like art, stories and written pieces of work are completely subjective. I like reading novels, the man of the manor is quite partial to Calvin and Hobbes. Written work is as diverse as any other artistic medium, and sometimes you hit a chord that ensures you a place on the New York Times Bestseller List…be it the fictional “Harry Potter” Series or the non-fictional “Atkins Diet” - better known as eat meat and die(t)
Fiction or non-fiction, it doesn’t matter when the content is interesting and well-written.
Just don’t….don’t….write a story, and then tell the world that it is true when it is not. There is something extremely on the nose about receiving the accolades and financial rewards that come with exceptional pieces of non-fictional, biographical literature, when in reality, it is no more a personal account than me saying I lived on the Magic Roundabout, and dropped acid with Dougal the dog and Ermintrude, whilst narrowly escaping the clutches of the evil and murderous Zebedee.
                           
Fiction stories: Good.
Non-Fiction stories: Good
Fiction stories marketed as Non-Fiction stories: ……..?
Well, as my wise mother said, if you can’t say something that doesn’t start with f and rhymes with tucked…..
Kylie Evans
http://www.articlesbase.com/writing-articles/would-you-like-lies-with-that-whopper-679014.html